You Are MY Child, At Your Best and Your Worst.
So, it's 1:45 a.m. & I'm sitting in the living room with my soon to be 2 yo son, Mason. Mason has NEVER slept all night since the day he was born...not ONCE. I've Googled, read, researched, spoken with his pediatrician and other pediatricians, tried essential oils, warm baths with calming bath soap and adjusted his schedule so many times that I can't even remember.
This past Friday I had a minor surgical procedure done but was told I couldn't lift anything heavy for 10 days (as the discharge nurse eyed my 30-pound baby boy). Can I just get some back up from other moms out there; if your baby falls or gets sick, you are NOT going to say “Well, I can't pick you up, just dust it off and go on about your day”, are you? I didn't think so.
The meds they gave me after surgery turned me into monster mommy/wife. I snapped off the head of every poor innocent that happened to look me directly in the eye all day Saturday and Sunday. Plus, those same meds made me SO tiiiiired!! All I wanted to do was sleep for the weekend. I honestly believe that I could've slept from discharge on Friday until 5 a.m. Monday when my husband, Angel, got up for work.
Anyway, back to THIS morning. Oh, I was so angry! All I wanted was to go to bed at a decent hour and, you know, ACTUALLY SLEEP! I'm doing this sort of short study with Joanna Weaver called 'HOW TO HAVE A MARY HEART 8 Steps to a Deeper & Sweeter Friendship with God. If you've never read any of Mrs. Joanna's books or "met" her, I encourage you to do so immediately. She is an amazing woman and a great mentor. She is also the author of Having a Mary Heart In A Martha World, which you can find here. I just started it and what I have gotten so far that is important to me, is that she keeps a journal like I do!!
Since I was so angry, I didn't want to immediately launch into prayer, I wanted to vent some first. I opened my Bible/Prayer journal and instead of jumping straight into why I was so angry and indignant, I found myself telling God I loved Him, I loved Him, I loved Him and that I knew Mason was His special blessing to us. Then I began to list all the great things about Mason that I notice every single day. For example, he is always quick to laugh and has such a loving spirit. He is just over flowing with pure and unadulterated JOY. By the time I had listed all of the qualities about Mason that are so very dear to me and my daily life, I wasn't angry anymore.
I wish I could say that Jesus just appeared in the middle of our living room and explained what I'm about to tell you but He didn't. He spoke directly to my heart.
I had this overwhelming feeling that this is sort of what He experiences with us when we just refuse to do the good things He set before us. He doesn't tell us repeatedly to read the Word just to keep us busy, but because it is nourishment for our souls! It's the same as when a mom runs herself into the ground trying to figure out how in the world to get her picky eater to eat more veggies or how the over-tired and cranky mom tries to figure out any and all tricks to get her non-sleeper to sleep so that his little body has time to recuperate and grow and his little mind has time to process all the new things he's learned that day.
When we encourage our children to talk through a problem with us rather than struggle with it on their own, it's because we can help them figure out how to possibly deal with whatever the situation is. When Jesus tells us to pray, to ask, to believe, it's because He KNOWS what to do but He wants us to learn to trust Him enough to bring the problem to Him rather than struggling with it alone.
God loves us in much the same way we love our own children. Oh! How they can drive us to distraction!!!!! But oh, how we love them with all our hearts anyway. They are our children, at their best and at their worst. And, Moms & Dads, we are His children and we often drive Him to distraction! But oh, how He loves us with all of His heart anyway because we are His children, at our best and at our worst.
***Again, if you haven't read Joanna Weaver, you should really start!***
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